*i'm tired

juz put down the phone with dear. he has gone to bathe and to do his stuffs. so since i've got nothing to do, i shall blog. today din buy much stuffs. bought a tee and a bag from esprit, and a tube. the forever 21 top that i said i wanna show mum is not on the shelves anymore. nvm, i dun really like that shop. it's so messy. reminds me of mango sales. eEEEeeeeeK! din buy roxy bag, cos mum said those on the shelves look so cheapo. haa! true, they are kinda cheap la. oh, went Gucci boutique today. cos mum actually wanna get the waist pouch. i saw these 2 wallets. i love them. but it's too ex for me to own. sobz.. it's $530. if it's cheaper like around 300 or 300+ mummy might get it for me. =( nvm, it shall be my long term dream, i shall get it myself next time. oh i wonder when, when i go out to work next time? then it'll be yearsSss later.. kk, i shall stop dreaming.. nuff bout this..

aww... i wanna go overseas. mummy actually wanna bring me to Turkey with 5th aunt! she's going on 13-26 dec. she has already booked everything. i also wanna go, but my driving test is on 14th! damn! that means i can't go le. why am i so stupid to fail it that time?! if i din fail i wun have to retake then can go le! it's always me.. i could still remember that time during sec 4. dad and mum wanted to bring the whole family to Korea. but, i insist that i wanna go for graduation night. cos if i go Korea, i'll only return on the actual day of graduation night. what a stupid decision to make. cos my graduation night is held in this lousy place! they call themselves a country club, but the place sucks! hahaa.. oh, that time i wanted so much to go with [him] that's why.. haiz.. it's always me who's so troublesome!

i felt so emtional today! juz too emotional. really sorry mummy, sorry! i know i din talk much. i felt so bad. after i realised that i'm so bad, i almost teared! i'm really sorry. i think it's my pms again la. i'm always so emotional, sometimes i juz feel that i'm too emotional le. haiz.. and sometimes dun even know why i'm sad, what i'm sad bout. that's how bad it can get.. that's me. i hate myself. hate myself for being this way!

sometimes wonder why am i still not satisfied with things. anyway, i think all ppl on earth are greedy, they will never be satisfied with what they have! ok, i'm extremely satisfied that i'm the child of my mum and dad. i love my parents and siblings to the core. our parents dote on us a lot. dad always get for us watever we want since we were young. he does that cos he din experience that last time, he knows how it feels. sometimes, when i think of my dad's childhood life and everything, it juz make me tear. when mum 1st told me last time, i really teared! teared in front of her. it's juz so sad. so sad to hear bout my dad's past. i think that's why dad had never scolded me and gor gor before. never in my life! the only person he scolded was my younger bro, dun talk bout his workers la! cos my brother is juz too lazy! he always dun wanna study, yes, i can't admit that he's clever, but his laziness will cause him to do badly for his exams and everything!
sometimes i wonder,
why am i so stupid?
why can't i be more clever?
why can't i be richer?
why can't i be slimmer?
why can't i be prettier?
and the list goes on and on..

ok, when i grow up, i wanna earn lotsa money! hahaa.. who wun want right? i wanna give my parents money to travel around the world. everyone loves to travel i believe. ya, so this goes the same to me! and mummy too. she loves to travel and she hopes to have a garden of her own, she loves flowers (that means hafta stay in terrace, semi-d or bungalow. oh, this is tough i can say..). dad and mum said they will be going Europe by themselves, without us along ;p, next time. so nice eh?! i also wanna go! i shall go next time, when i start to work. when i have enough cash la. hai hai, i shan't dream so much now! *bish* back to reality, agnes...

ok, i have to stop here le..